Warning Signs of Love Addiction
Love addiction involves an intense preoccupation with romantic relationships, akin to infatuation, making it hard to recognize. However, clear signs and symptoms distinguish it from healthy relationships. Recognizing these indicators is crucial for knowing when to seek professional help for yourself or a partner.
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Top 6 Warning Signs of Love Addiction
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) doesn’t recognize love addiction like other behavioral addictions. So, there aren’t any official diagnostic criteria that can identify a love addict.
However, researchers have identified specific behavioral patterns that may separate love addiction from healthy romantic relationships, which can include the following.
1. Obsessive Over Your Partner
Love addiction can gradually consume your life in a similar way to substance abuse: You might neglect work, school, hobbies, or even acts of self-care in favor of your addiction.
You may become so obsessed with your partner that you want to do nothing else but spend time with them.
Love addiction, like drug addiction, can create intense emotional highs and lows, leading to cravings for affection and validation. These cravings can drive destructive patterns, similar to the way substance addiction reinforces harmful behaviors.
If you aren’t currently in a romantic relationship, finding a new relationship may be the only thing on your mind.
2. Short-Lived Relationships
People with love addiction tend to have shorter relationships.
Falling in love can stimulate your brain’s reward system and release a rush of “happy” chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. Addictive substances, like drugs and alcohol, can similarly impact your reward system.
Some people may become addicted to the emotional “high” they experience during the early stages of falling in love and seek to relive it repeatedly. When the initial infatuation phase fades, they may end the relationship and pursue a new one to chase that feeling again.
3. Staying in Toxic Relationships
A love addict’s obsession with love and romance may also foster toxic relationships.
You might be so desperate for the feelings of love and affection you get from your romantic partner that you ignore “red flags” and continue to stay in the relationship—sometimes despite emotional or physical abuse.
You may realize that the relationship harms your well-being or safety, but your attempts to leave are unsuccessful.
4. Fear of Abandonment
Some research indicates that love addiction may overlap with anxious attachment styles. An anxious “attachment style” means that you may feel insecure in relationships, have low self-esteem, and especially fear abandonment.
You may wonder if your partner loves you back, or you may struggle with intrusive thoughts about your relationship.
Some people get agitated, anxious, or depressed when their partner isn’t there, like a kind of “emotional withdrawal.” As a result, you may be overly clingy or constantly need reassurance because you doubt your self-worth.
5. Extreme Highs and Lows
You can feel on top of the world when you’re in love. But with love addiction, your feelings may go beyond what’s healthy. You may experience a level of happiness that borders on euphoria.
Some people attach unrealistic expectations to their partners or love interests as if they can heal their childhood traumas and low self-worth.
At the same time, the “lows” may also feel more intense, filled with fear, doubts, and anxiety. This cycle of extremes can lead to emotional turmoil that takes its toll on you and your partner.
6. Abandoning Social Relationships Outside Your Partner
Our culture tends to prioritize romance over platonic love. People in healthy romantic relationships usually don’t abandon all contact with others.
A love addict may grow so obsessed with their romantic partner that they spend less and less time with other people. Eventually, they may even abandon all other relationships.
What to Do if You Recognize These Signs
If any of the above signs sound familiar, the good news is that help is available for behavioral addictions.
The best treatment option depends on whether you want to seek help for yourself or your partner.
However, the following resources can be a good place to start.
Noticing Love Addiction in Yourself
Recognizing the signs of love addiction in your own life is the first step toward healing.
If you notice patterns that indicate unhealthy behaviors in your relationships or the need for constant emotional validation, it’s important to take proactive steps.
Here are some ways to seek help for love addiction:
- Leaning on friends and family: Falling in love can make you see the world through “rose-colored glasses.” If you’re worried that you don’t view your relationship clearly, ask trusted loved ones for an outside perspective.
- Therapy: Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you identify unhealthy patterns, reframe negative beliefs, and build healthier emotional responses. A mental health professional can help you improve your coping strategies and set stronger boundaries to support long-term recovery.
- Couples therapy: Attending therapy with your partner can provide a safe space to express feelings and concerns while addressing unhealthy relationship dynamics. It can also help identify patterns of codependency and support both partners in fostering healthier communication and emotional boundaries.
- Medication: Love addiction may overlap with conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and depression. Some researchers believe treating these issues with medication may, in turn, help symptoms associated with love addiction.
- Support groups: Some people may find support through 12-step style groups for love addicts, like Love Addicts Anonymous.
- Rehab: Some behavioral addiction rehab centers may offer programs for love addiction. While they aren’t as common as other types of addictions, it’s worth checking to see if any local treatment centers provide these services.
Love Addiction in a Partner
People with addictions often don’t believe that they have a problem and resist treatment. As a result, you may need to stage an intervention with friends and family to encourage them to get help.
Common symptoms of love addiction that might appear in your partner include:
- Constantly seeking your reassurance and validation
- Expressing intense fear of being alone or abandoned
- Staying in the relationship despite ongoing conflict or harm
- Becoming overly preoccupied with the relationship at the expense of other responsibilities
- Prioritizing the relationship over their own well-being or personal growth
Find Help for Love Addiction
If you’re struggling with love addiction, help is available. You don’t have to give up on relationships—finding the right support can help you build healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Consider reaching out to a licensed therapist who specializes in behavioral addictions. You can search for professionals in your area using the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) online treatment locator or by calling 1-800-662-4357.
Support groups like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or Love Addicts Anonymous offer structured 12-step programs where you can connect with others who understand your experiences. These groups provide guidance, accountability, and a community of support on your journey to recovery.
If you are in a physically abusive relationship or otherwise fear for your safety, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233 or by texting “START” to 88788.
Visit our treatment help page today to explore more treatment options and find the right support for your recovery. You don’t have to do this alone—help is just a step away.
FAQs About the Warning Signs of Love Addiction
What’s the difference between infatuation and love addiction?
Infatuation is a normal part of falling in love, but people in healthy relationships typically settle into a mature “attachment” phase after falling in love.
People with love addiction may have problems reaching healthy attachment: Some may repeatedly chase the “high” they get from falling in love, while others fall into obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors centered around their love interest.
Can love addicts still have healthy relationships?
Yes. Love addicts can seek help for unhealthy relationship patterns through methods like counseling, 12-step groups, or even behavioral rehab.
What should I do if I think my partner is a love addict?
If you recognize signs of love addiction in your partner, a couples counseling session might be a helpful way to air your feelings in a supportive environment.
If your partner is physically abusive or you fear for your safety, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
How can I identify signs of love addiction?
Love addiction can go beyond healthy devotion to your partner and instead foster obsessive behavior. You may grow to prioritize your partner over all other relationships, neglect work or school, or withdraw from other activities and hobbies.
Other people may be more obsessed with the early feelings of falling in love, resulting in short-lived relationships as they chase the “high” of infatuation.
Can you experience withdrawal from love addiction?
You can’t physically withdraw from love the same way as you can from drugs or alcohol. But, some love addicts may feel a type of “emotional withdrawal” when they’re separated from their partners.
Get Treatment Help Now
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